I'm so damn pissed!!!!!arrrgggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just need to find a way to release all this rage and anger inside me!!!!!!!!!!

Why do all this shit happen to me.... hai... i think i must have committed alot of sin in my past life to get so much pain in this lifetime....

Some F$%king Bas#$D had to come n antagonise me and my dog just now and i nearly lost it... i'm not pissed that this scum of the earth came and got on my nerves.. i'm pissed at myself for not being able to control my rage and sunk to tht level....

I need an outlet to release all this anger... i hiope i find something soon or i might end up at woodbridge pretty soon...

I'm really stressed out and tired... why do i keep failing in relationships? It looks like the end of another relationship for me... Well i wouldn't call it a relationship since we were never really a couple... hai.. i've tried my best... but best is always not enough.... in life you nv get what you deserve...

Guess all i can concentrate on now is my career and work towards getting my car... if she feels that without me in her life would be better for her then i will respect her decision. I just feel crappy that after so long it still seems like i'm just not good enough...

i just wan to settle down so badly.... i just wan somebody to call my own... i wanna have someone to support me when i'm down i wanna give her support when she is down... i wan to let her do whatever she wans and i wan her to let me do whatever i wan... it's mutual respect that is the most necessary in any relationship...

To that special somebody who seems to be about to leave my life.. i just wan to say that if u feel this is the better way then i wish u all the best... but i'll still be here if u need me..

I can't tok anymore i'm outta here...

I go for now.... disheartened...

I saw an advertisement on tv a few days ago.. it was about this couple that quarreled and the girl left in a taxi with the guy chasing her from bedok to sengkang to the padang to marina south to lim chu kang.. Then the moment he take off his shirt she tell the taxi to go back, opens the door and gives him a damn slutty look.

Ok that advertisement was totally rubbish if u ask me.. but the last sentence in that whole commercial made a whole lot of sense.. Love.. you just need lots of stamina. It's so true don't you think? i mean being in love is just like a race.. you start of strong and eager as you feel your heart beating faster n faster as you surge further forward halfway thru you can end up in 2 scenarios...

One, you start to lose speed, everything around you starts to slow down... you heart doesn't beat as fast.. you are running out of breath.. you do not have the stamina to continue.. you quit the race..

Or two, you maintain your breathing, keep pushing yourself not to give up, your stamina brings you closer to the finish line, you have a sudden last surge of energy and you win the race...

The first scenario refers to couples who always start of as usual with the honeymoon period.. then they start to get too used to each other.. take each other for granted and start to quarrel day in and day out.. eventually one of them will grow tired of all this and will just end the relationship..

The second scenario however, is somewhat similar but the difference is instead of taking each other for granted, they learn to accept each other, learn to adapt, try to forgive each other and take things slowly hand in hand all the way to the end...

I just went to a relative's house last weekend because one of my distant cousins was getting married and my parents could not attend the wedding so we went to give the lucky groom his ang bao. My grand aunt asked me so when will it be your turn... i hate being asked that question... how can i get married when i don't even have a gf... hai...

Enuff of this crap.. i'm gonna crash.. another long day at work tmr.. hai..

I go for now..

V day is just around the corner... it's this time of year that all guys dread the most... thinking of the best place to take the girl to for diiner.. best present... what type of flowers... transport.. everything just has to be PERFECT!!! to us, V day is like taking our O levels.. one mistake and it may spell disaster for our future..Sometimes i wish i was born a girl.. at least i get to enjoy being spoilt and treated like a princess once a year ( twice or 3 times if u consider b day and christmas too)

Which dofus in the past set the rule that guys had to rack our brains and torture ourselves in order to create the perfect v day for the girls we love.. why couldn't it be the other way around.. or at least let it be a mutual thing u know... like ok i'll think of the place for dinner you bring the wheels and we'll exchange presents something along those lines.. but nah... don't think that will ever happen...

I've set the place, i've gotten the wheels, and now all that is left is the present.. speaking of which i already know what i have to get her.. but after reading her blog.. i feel that maybe i'm really damn lousy.. i made one too many empty promises that now all the promises i make doesn't carry anymore weight..

I'm almost going to hit my big 30 soon.. and i'm still single.. i look at some of my friends around me and see that hey no big deal they are all still single too and some of them are already in their 30s.. but i dun wan that.. i wan to settle down.. i wan to have someone to care for and who will care for me in return..

Sigh... all i can do is sigh... after reading that blog entry.. i feel so worthless again... sigh...

All i can do now is wait n pray...pray that one day i will find my true happiness..

I go for now..

It's the eve of the Chinese New Year and as we head into the year of the rat, i feel like nothing's change..... As i sit here in my office waiting to knock off, i wonder about all the things i said i wanted to do last year until now and realise that not much has been done...

Reservations is a killer... i have to bring my work home just in case some MOFO decides to book a room during the CNY period and i have to book the room for that numbskull.. well we have a few new additions to our front desk.. wonder when and whether or not i'll get an assistant to help me with reservations... reservations chief indeed... who ever heard of a department of just one person?? sheesh...

Valentine's day is just around the corner and i already have something special planned for that special someone. just hope it's nice enough as it seems to be

Had a run in with a damn problematic guest today... think it's time to wip out the knives... hood on and slit his damn throat.. hehehehe

I go for now.. deep into the shadows..

It's a new year and gone is captain's log.. from now onwards, The assassin's journal has arrived. Why did i choose this?? Well assassins work in stealth, silence and darkness. Mostly like how i am right now. I work quietly, do my own stuff and when i'm stressed i fall into darkness..

Ok enough of all tht mambo jumbo. This year is prob gonna be the same as every other year.. crappy... well guess i just have to make the most of it yah?? New year resolution.. lost weight... ( yah can hear you assholes sniggering in the back already) get my own car!! and maybe win someone's heart ( you know who you are ;) )

Well nothing much left to say... oh yah!! DA DA!!! YOU LOOK VERY PRETTY WITH CURLED HAIR!!

I go for now...

Been awhile since i was last here... didn't even bother to blog about my b day... basically... it was just another day... apart from the fact tht someone special helped celebrate it with me.. other then tht.. it was just another normal day.. Those close to me can forget abt it... My 2 cousins could actually forget abt it.... sigh..

I've just been appointed acting supervisor at my new job at NTU. I should be happy... but somehow.. i dun.. Ever felt like you have been backed into a corner??? Where you have no support... I used to feel so lousy about myself... cannot study... always failing... couldn't find a proper job for almost a year... ppl keep on criticising me.. asking me why i dun wan to find a proper job and stop wasting my time and all tht jazz...

I enjoyed what i was doing... i had complaints abt sentosa and the pay was low and the managment sucked but i enjoyed working there... but i knew i had to move on... just like how i gave up scouting... ppl grow..

I thought after finding a proper job things would be better... but why do i still feel so lousy about myself.. even after i got this small promotion, no one showed me any support... all i wanted was a pat on the back or a "well done" from some ppl but all i got was stuff like cheh no big deal what... and huh? only acting one ah? sigh....

There are times i hate the way i am... why can't i be more firm why must i always give in... today at work, i had to do so much stuff tht wasn't even my duty today... i'm so crammed up inside i feel like i'm about to explode or break down... when we were younger, if anything happened to us, we could go to our parents for support... the older we get, we learn to rely on ourselves.. but we also wish to have someone special to support us.. a fren, a buddy or a loved one... but it's hard when u are all alone... whenever i watch a show on tv about someone dying.. i'm scared i'm afraid... i dunno what will happen to me after i die... will i go to someplace better? will i disappear into nothing? will i repeat my life again without knowing... what will happen... i will die one day.. and i am freaking scared by it.. but sometimes.. life gets me down so bad.. i wish my day of reckoning would just come sooner then later...

Sometimes i live in my own fantasy world.... induldging in my toys and imagination tht i was one of the super heroes tht i idolise... some may call it childish some may call it weird.. but it's my way of getting away from the harshness of reality and just letting my mind slip away and find peace...

All i really wan, is care n concern... true genuine care and concern.. and some respect.. i hate being treated like garbage and being taken for granted time n time again... why is it some guys can be firm and be bastards but all the girls seem to like them.. and for me, i always give in n be nice and all tht and the moment i lose my temper, i'm the bad guy...

I just wish i could find what i've been searching for all this while... someone who can understand me... let me be who i wan to be and support and respect me as much as i will for tht person...

Right now i feel like a rubber band... being stretched and stretched... and as elastic as a rubber band can be... one day it will snap! and when it's broken there's no way to fix a rubber band back...

I go for now... feeling claustrophobic...

It's that time of year again..... in exactly one week's time.. i'll be another year older... imagine.. 26 years old man.. wow.. 26 years of my life has passed just like that man... Let's see where i'm up to now in life. I'm still single ( working hard on that to change ) have a full time job, looking towards getting my own wheels and hopefully move out of my parents place in a few years time..  Seems like everything is back on track.

Hmmm dun really know what to blog.. work has been fun and interesting. Learning all the new stuff and all that but kinda miss Sentosa...well will be back there again this sat n sun though.. celebrating my b day at siloso beach resort... man it's kinda ex but well.. sometimes u have to spoil yrself abit..

Will be back here again soon.. but for now..

I go..

Just thought i would include this in my blog dun u think it's so true???

9 words that women always used:

1. Fine
This is the word women use to end an
argument when they are right and you
need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a
half an hour. Five minutes is only five
minutes if you have just been given
five
more minutes to watch the game before
helping around the house.

3. Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This
means something, and you should be on
your toes. Arguments that begin with
nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don't
Do It!

5. Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a
non-verbal statement often
misunderstood
by men. A loud sigh means she thinks
you
are an idiot and wonders why she is
wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you about nothing. (Refer
back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous
statements a woman can make to a man.
That's okay means she wants to think
long and hard before deciding how and
when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not
question, or Faint. Just say you're
welcome.

8. Whatever
Is a women's way of saying F@*K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told
a man to do several times, but is now
doing it herself. This will later
result
in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the
woman's response refer to #3.

how true how true... but women... you can't live with them and you can't live without them

Yesterday marked the end of a significant milestone in my life while tmr marks the beginning of a new chapter in my life.. What am i toking abt?? read on to find out...

Yesterday was sort of my last day at sentosa.. What do i mean?? Tmr i am starting work at my new job as a guest relations cum reservations officer over at NTU! It's gonna be really exciting yet nervous as it's going to be something new. Yesterday was sort of a bitter sweet gdbye to my second home for almost 3 years...

So much has happened over the years tht i worked with beach patrol.. some good and some bad.. but what doesn kill me just makes me stronger.

Will update more on my new job soon but in the mean time...

I go for now... butterflies in my tummy...

Check it out!!! i'm HOT ROD!! SWEETTT!!!!!!!!

It's funny that i should be this card becoz it's exactly how i feel abt myself right now.. I guess it's fated tht i was dealt this card..but it's sad tht somethings i cannot just talk my way out of or thru it..

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eloquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing, you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

And here we are again at the beginning of a new month... My theme for tonite is... BEING APPRECIATIVE....

Do you sometimes go out of yr way to help someone or do something for somebody and instead get scolded or even worse get treated like crap in the end?? A few weeks ago i was workin at sentosa and i noticed a small fire going on at the southernmost point. I went over to investigate and instead got a complaint by a guest that there was nobody at my point. My point WAS covered by another tower but the stupid guest just didn't realise it... after i explained everything to my boss, all my colleagues were like " u la kay poh for wat?? not yr point ma" stuff like tht.. i got comments like that from so many ppl...

A few months ago, a dog went missing at sentosa and i tried my best to find it.. called up my trainer for advice, tried to look for it everytime i was on duty at tanjong and even tried to catch it one day after work.. in the end the owner came down and caught it on his own.. i'm glad that he managed to find his dog but i was pissed that he thanked other ppl who just HAPPENED to be there on that day who helped and all tht i did was not even mentioned..

I know i sound like i crave for attention and wan ppl to be grateful for what i do.. but it's not tht.. i jus hate being taken for granted.. all my life ever since i was young, i always did stuff for others and always went out of my way to do what they needed or even more.. but in the end i always get taken for granted.. supposedly best friends turned on me and betrayed me.. girls i liked left me for other guys and colleagues back stab me and make me look like a fool..

I had a quarrel with my special someone today becoz i was supposed to meet her today after work but she did not leave on time becoz why?? becoz her other colleagues did not leave yet.. i mean if u r supposed to work until a certain time and u got no more work to do then leave! i mean what else can u do?? I wasn't angry at her for staying until so late for nothing but i was unhappy that even though i waited for an hour under the hot sun being bitten by mosquitoes and feeling hungry... i didn't even get a " i'm sorry for making u wait" and a "thanks for the food" i just wanna know that i'm being appreciated and not being taken for granted...

So many ppl took me for granted over the years... shannon, Liz, Celena, Michelle... the list just goes on n on n on... all i wan is something simple.. a simple thank you, a simple sorry a simple i love what u did.. i just want to feel impt and appreciated and not invisible and useless....

I'll be 26 in October.. as it stands, i have no job, no car, no girlfriend, no money.. all this = NO FUTURE.... everyone thinks i'm just staying in my comfort zone being a beach patrol officer at sentosa.. everyone thinks it's a no future job.. but i'd rather do a job tht i feel passionate about rather then a stupid desk job that will help me make ends meet but i'll be depressed all the while..

Sometimes i wish there was a way to end all this.. i watched transformers today and i learnt a line from there. " No sacrifice, No victory..." so wat must i sacrifice in order to attain my ultimate happiness?? my own dreams, hobbies and beliefs?? I just dun know....

I go for now.. searching for a light at the end of the tunnel..

I had a crappy day today.... was really down abt something... i jus feel that sometimes i wish i could be more understanding or something to others...

I look back on all the past girls tht i have dated or were with and i realised one thing... i dun think any of them respected me for who i am... all of them wanted to change me one way or another... i mean why is it tht girls always wan to change guys and as for us guys.. all we wan is for them to just not nag at us...

When god created man n woman did he put this 2 ideas into our heads so tht he could get a kick out of watching us drive one another crazy?? Yest i was workin at tanjong again and eng was telling me how nice amanda ( daryl's gf ) is. Yeah i agreed with him, daryl is one lucky guy, in fact most of my colleagues are lucky.. they have gfs who treat them well n respect them for who they are.. i think the only one who doesn do tht with her bf is the one who would cause a python to choke n die if it tried to swallow her coz it's jaw would cramp up once it reached a certain part of her body.

My mom made a comment today... " wah boy u this year turning 26 ah.. time to find a proper job n a wife." WIFE?? i dun even have a gf yet.. how to settle down?? It's not like i dun wish to... but come on, right now the one i'm dating has such bad opinions abt me tht i think she must really think i'm just one big loser... strange tht even though she makes me feel so lousy abt myself i know she doesn do tht on purpose n i nv blame her n still feel the same way for her no matter what she does or say abt me...

I haven been feelin this way for a long time... a gd fren once told me.. the one thing tht sets us apart from women n children is tht we do not have the luxury to show our emotions.. As MEN we have to bottle everything up whether or not we like it.. Right now.. i feel like my bottle is about to burst.. I can't find a job, my friends are only my colleagues at work n the girl tht i have feelings for now doesn seem like giving me a chance anytime in this millenium... the only things i have to escape reality are my magic and my dog...

I dun blame anyone but myself for how i feel now... whatever is happening to me now is a reflection of how i handle all the situations tht have been going on in my life and i guess i just didn't handle them well enuff which is why i am feeling this way now...

I don't know what lies ahead... all i know is tht everyday is a day closer to the end for me.. so until tht time comes... just have to keep on suffering...

I go for now.. fadin back into the darkness of what was once my heart..

Wah today truly was a nice n fun day. Went allllllll the freaking way down to simei ( the only part of the day tht was not fun was this damn long ride..) to meet my trainer Jacq and her new puppy SUNBEAR!!!

Sunbear is so damn cute la! He's a mongrel but looks like a retriever puppy and he damn manja one.. hahaha stick to me like glue siah... he's like everyone's fav at pet safari. The whole shop knows and loves him hahaha but he's really greedy. Bought him some treats and he finished everything in one go. Nv save any for his jie jies at home hahaha. I also got to meet Shandy and ICI who are Jacq's other dogs. Shandy was kinda feirce though while ICI was really timid. It's ironic how 2 dogs with diff characteristics can live in harmony in the same house.. hahaha

Later on Jacq thought me how to play World of Warcraft the card game. There are many reasons why i nv got interested in playing card games like Magic the Gathering, Pokemon, yu gi oh and WOW, the main reason for not wanting to start is becoz it's damn confusing la! So hard to play... first round Jacq let me win but second round she totally thrashed me siah... no wonder she's top 3 in Singapore hahaha

Well yeah it was a fun day. My special someone was in M'sia today and if u r reading this.. dun have to be jealous of Jacq ok... for one she's alot older then me and secondly she is ummm how do i say this in a nice way...."like one of the guy??" if u know what i mean ;)

My good bro Kok Meng is getting married early next month and i'm gonna be part of the groom's party! Wah my first wedding and i'm part of the entourage siah.. tht's gonna be so cool and exciting man!! hahaha the bad thing is tht i have to be at his place at 5am on his wedding day..... *groan....

Well i'll leave u guys with pics of Sunbear

I go for now!!

It's been so many months since my last entry in here... really didn't have the time, the mood and the energy to blog la.. OK I WAS LAZY!! SO SUE ME ALREADY.... SHEESH...

Anyway i started blogging again becoz someone special to me wans stuff to read on my blog so here it is. By the way if u r reading this, i miss u ;)

Lots have been happening so far since my last post... I'm now a contract staff with beach patrol for those of u who do not know. I'll finish my contract by aug and then i'll see if they wanna offer me full time or not.. In the meantime though, i'm still hunting for some other job outside but damn it's hard to get a decent job these days....

Stitch has passed his K9 good citizen training with much luck.. it's a miracle he managed to pass it with all the nonsense tht he put me thru... he's still a pain when it comes to barking though.... "GROAN".....

Magic magic magic... no i'm not toking abt those stupid magic cards tht u see kids sitting at mrt stations n blocking everyone's path. I'm into street and close up magic now. Beginning with cards. It's a real challenge coz i've always wanted to do magic properly and not like with gimmicks and stuff.. It's challenging though coz now with the internet, ppl have access to how most tricks are done and loads of ppl already know it... so it's like damn sian when someone reveals yr trick while u r doing it halfway.

Time really flies... it's gonna be the middle of the year soon... b4 we know it, it'll be the end of the year again... man... i'm gonna be 26 this year siah.... getting old liow.., chiam....

Well tht's all the rubbish i can think of saying for now...

To tht special someone, dun worry i'm sure u will get a gd paying job tht u will like soon ok?? i can feel it. will pray for u! Hugz!

I go for now.....

Surprised to read my post?? Well i'm really in bad shape now and i needed an avenue to pour out all my misery over the past weeks..2 days ago i passed my driving test on my very first attempt... to quote a certain person at work " only extraordinary ppl can pass their driving on the first try" that person thought i wouldn't be able to do it.. well i proved to him and everyone else who doubted me that they were wrong and i passed my test..

A happy occasion it was not going to be... i would be lying if i denied not envying some of my friends or ppl that i know who have rich parents who can afford to buy for them a car the moment they get their license... i've heard stories of ppl's parents using a brand new sports car as an incentive for them to pass their driving.. i however do not have tht luck...

Dun get me wrong.. i am thankful for what i have around me and all that.. but let me continue to say that even most of my frens who dun have rich parents can at least borrow their parent's car to go around from time to time...

I on the other hand, am not allowed to touch my dad's car and even when i attempted to rent one on my own they had to scold me and make it sound like i was committing a big crime..." you have no experience, it's no safe, it's not this it's not that.." how am i ever going to learn if i'm not given the chance?~~~!!! Yes my dad said he will EVENTUALLY let me slowly drive his car... i already waited 25 years to get my license.. must i wait another 25 b4 i get to drive? i can't even drive out of the bloody car park for god sake!!! is his damn car more important to him then his eldest son's chance of getting to drive on my own? I can't even put up my P plate....

I also thought valentine's day would be a day that was shared by 2 ppl and it would be a day to remember.. well this one sure will be one to remember... one that i ruined for tht special someone of mine... first i screwed up my surprise, second, i screwed up on the present and lastly.. i can't get the car tht i promised... i'm too lazy to explain what happened but let's all just take it as it's my fault...

I dun understand why can't i jus lead a simple and happy life... things that were supposed to be happy and joyous occasions turn out to be sad n miserable for me.. i really feel that me getting my license was a really big waste of time.. some ppl at work dun believe that i passed n even demands that i show him my license once i get it in 2 week's time... now that i got it, i can't even drive a car... and i can't keep a promise due to this... if i knew getting my license would make my life more miserable, i would have just failed on purpose.... maybe my life would have been easier then...

I hate it when my actions are taken for a negative meaning.. i may do things differently from others but it doesn't mean i dun care or dun put in any effort... i just have a diff way of expressing myself... why can't u understand tht.....

I just wan to be happy... tht's all i ask for.. is tht too much?? sigh... i dun know too...

I go for now... miserable as ever....

It's 2007.. another new year, new beginnings new this new tht.. but among all this newness, somethings just will remain the same and nv change..

It's time to find a job, get my license and hopefully find someone to share my life with this year...

i go for now

What a fine few days this has been... firstly, yest i finally got my brace trottle and an early pleasant surprise when my accelular also came via the postman!! Thanks MR POSTMAN!!! for bringing my accelular so soon!!! If u have no idea what i'm talking abt, it's my 2 new toys!! and when i mean toys i really mean toys.. hahaha well it's a henshin ( transformation ) device from Dekaranger and Boukenger respectively.. Tmr one more on the way and i would have completed my collection unless i fancy something else hahaha but i doubt anything will catch my eye again anytime soon.. unless my supplier can find some old stuff.

Today was wonderful. Went down to Sentosa to train abit and then had dinner with my colleagues... and they surprised me with a cake!! so sweet!!! i love it. Thanks to those who chipped in and made the effort! Love you guys!! Anyway it was fun sitting around after tht, drinking abit of red wine and joking about stuff.. it really felt gd to be there again.. even though some undesired specimens were around but i wasn't going to allow tht to dampen my spirits.

Another fine surprise was a got a call from my someone special and she wanted to keep my surprise until sunday but she had to know something and so had to tell me what she was getting me for my b day.. IT WAS A NEW BLUETOOTH HEADSET!! i was stunned when she told me that.. i felt so bad tht she was spending so much on my b day present.. but at the same time.. really touched.. coz it has been quite awhile since someone put in an effort to really think what i would want for my b day.. the last time i felt so touch when receiving a present was last year when irin, kelvin sze zheng and thomas bought me my first tarot set.

But now.. i dunno if i made her upset.. she's at a mid autum gathering with her friends and it's 1.27am and she's still not back.. i mean i'm worried about her true.. but she's not my gf and i have no right to control her actions.. and even if she was i STILL dun have the right to say what she can or cannot do.. but it's already so late and i dun wish anything bad to happen to her.. after watching crimewatch last mon about how a girl got raped at nite and how there are molestors all over the place.. it's not safe la.. i mean these foreign workers come here and when they are drunk they dunno what they are doing and some dun care.. so it's dangerous for a girl to be out so late.. If i could drive i would send her back.. but 1, i dun have my license yet and 2, i dun have my own car.. sigh.. i just hope she understands how i feel and dun get angry with me for not being happy that she's staying out so late..

I dunno if it's me or what.. but this happens everytime i have feelings for someone.. i mean stuff like rape and robberies do happen and they are real.. but some girls just take it for granted that singapore is safe and nothing will happen to them.. i have friends who have been molested and taken advantage of so that means the treat is REAL!!! i dun wish for anything bad to happen to those tht i care for.. but sometimes.. there really is nothing i can do.. when i flare up the other party gets annoyed instead.. sigh.. are my actions wrong?? or am i wrong?? i dunno.. but i guess i jus shouldn't care so much.. maybe my main problem is that i care and bother too much that in the end makes me seem irritating and annoying.. i dunno..

Well tmr going to collect my last toy n then it's down to sentosa again for more training.. Sunday meeting my special someone and i can't wait!!! been over a week since i last saw her and i miss her badly.. just hope tonite she wun be mad at me for how i toked to her just now.. sigh..

I go for now.. waiting...